From now on my baby will be referred to as Writer's Block!

 

    As I finish up my second book, I am severely aware of how much harder it is to write when you have a baby. Writing is very much a creative process. As with any creative process, inspiration can hit you any given moment. Usually, one can take a few minutes out of their day and jot it down or write a few pages whenever the spirit moves you. That creative license goes out the window when you have a baby.
    That window of writing gets even smaller when you have a husband owned by the army. Military tends to capitalize on much of his free time with no set schedule. So I find time to write in between taking care of my baby daughter (aka Writer's Block) which is a full time 24/7 type of job, maintaining the house (laundry, cleaning, dogs, meals, etc.), and writing. In the grand scheme of my life, writing seems to be taking a back seat at the moment.
   Honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way. I love being able to have the opportunity to be home with my daughter. I love (most of the time) that I can hold her whenever she needs me to and put her to sleep at night. I love that we can play and learn together and am very blessed that my husband has provided me with the opportunity to stay at home with her. In return though, I keep my end of the deal by maintaining the house.
     After I do my daily routine (only able to write small amounts during sleepy time when chores are done like now), I relax for an hour writing. Its is a small amount, but I am grateful for the nights I am able to sit down and write.
    So my miniscule followers, be patient with me. I am a new mommy navigating uncharted territories in my life, but am very optimistic about all the books I plan to write. They will come into existence, but evolution sometimes is a slow process.

    Until next blog,
     Lots of Love,
                      
                       E.M.

Greetings everyone! I have no witty blog this week opting instead to work on the SECOND book in the TOTEM series called Fleur De Lis. As  a little treat (or not depending on your preference), here is a clip from TOTEM. Enjoy!

Lots of Love,

E.M.


P.S. feel free to leave editorial comments if you want. As a non-English major, I am constantly open to help from qualified people! :)

TOTEM

     Michelle had retold the double date time and time again throughout the week. It was a fall back topic when we had nothing else to talk about. She tried to blame her new obsession on me, but I knew it was her uncertainty with Daniel that brought it to the forefront. Just the thought that they tried to set me and Jake up even though the whole time there was some ulterior motive made me smile whenever I thought about it. To a degree, it did work. Jake and I have become closer and text all the time now. We even had lunch together. It was nice getting to know a new person. What made it nice was because it was Jake. He was easy to talk to and was always polite. He was just comfortable. There was no other way to describe it. Slowly we were becoming friends.

Now I stand Thursday morning on a volleyball court listening to Michelle obsess about Saturday for what feels like the hundredth time. I roll my eyes as she talks freely even though the game has begun. Secretly I wish we were on opposite teams today.

“I just don’t know what that kiss meant,” states Michelle as she finally finishes her sentence. It was a sentence set on repeat for the past five days.

“Michelle,” I begin my lecture then suddenly stops. “No, you know what? Screw him.”

Michelle’s expression was priceless. For once, I did not care what came out of my mouth as the blood boiled up inside of me. I removed the filter that I had been working so hard to keep in place these last few weeks and let it all out.

“You have been complaining about this since our double date on Saturday and I am tired of it. I am tired of it because you are a strong, beautiful young woman. So what if Daniel didn’t text more than twice this week. He is stacked up on classes trying to graduate early. So what if you guys had a hot kiss. There are plenty of guys who would jump at the chance to be in Daniel’s position and if he can’t appreciate or make time for what he has in front of him. Then screw him. Kick him to the curb.”

Resolved in my bold answer, I rotate leaving Michelle on the front row puzzled and pondering my thoughts. I had tried lulling Michelle hoping she would stop talking about Daniel but that did not work. Tough love it would have to be. Hopefully she got the point.

I grab the ball and head back to my spot. I was still fuming from my brief soap box stance on Daniel and Michelle. The little streak of Irish in me had come out and I could feel my cheeks turning red as I try to cool down. I yell out the score before hitting the ball sending it over the net. In the brief time it took the ball to travel in the air, I scan our opponents for the day. What has now become natural for me, I look for Ty’s handsome face out of the crowd. It was now programmed response for me.

However, most of the time, when I look for him, he is not staring directly back at me. I meet his eyes as he shoots me an award winning smile that still makes me melt. Someone on the other side hits the ball, but I am not paying attention. I am frozen on the spot caught in his gaze as I return his smile. He nods his head at me then breaks our gaze as he hits the ball up in the air. With his stare no longer holding me in place, I am free to move once more.

Why does he affect me so? I think to myself.

It is a question that has no answer. The only slight answer I could give to it is lust. I was infatuated with this man and it was my first case of hardcore infatuation. Each time I saw him, I longed for his touch, but it was all physical. I did not know the man that rested inside of him. Not knowing him personally made it easier to keep my hormones in check knowing that he seems immune to me. From what I could tell, I did not affect him the way he affected me. Class after class, I would watch him. I would disguise it as if I was scanning the crowd or calculating a move against the other team, but it was all for him. It was all so I could see his face. I don’t know what would happen if I found out Ty felt otherwise about me.

After a long game and very little spoken from a pondering Michelle, I grab a drink of water from the fountain. Since the one in the hallway has become the common one to use and is always crowded, Michelle and I ventured away discovering the one in the women’s locker room off the side of the gym. It’s a little further away, but usually by the time we get water and head back, we are quicker than the line at the fountain. We walk together through the double doors.

“You’re right,” states Michelle breaking the silence. “Screw him.”

I smile as I sip the cool water coming out of the fountain. I nod at Michelle then turn and open up the door out of the locker room. Immediately I am drawn to a halt as I am face to face with the one person who makes my heart skip a beat. He smiles a brilliant smile. I am so close I could see the little beads of sweat that form on his perfect forehead. My mouth opens allowing more air to fuel my quickening heart. His eyes are locked on me.

“Oh hi Ty,” states Michelle nudging me as she walks out the door.

She shoots my one sly smile as she walks back into the gym leaving me alone with Ty. Secretly I wish she would have stayed, but at the same time, I wanted to be alone with him.

“I heard what you told Michelle on the volleyball court,” states Ty.

“How?”

“You were kind of loud,” replies Ty with a smile. “It was actually kind of funny. Yet, it was awesome to see how much you care for her.”

I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. I open my mouth slightly to allow more air to pass into my lungs and fuel my heart. Ty keeps his gaze on me. His face was unreadable. My mind races over all the possibilities that could be lurking behind his handsome guise.

“What are you doing after class?” asks Ty.

“I have a break until two.”

“Want to go grab some lunch?”

The words left his mouth and I had to will my mind to believe I was not dreaming. Emphatically, I nod my head. It was all I could do to keep from grinning like a crazy person. He shoots one more brilliant smile before walking back into the gym. I pause a few seconds before I follow. As soon as I return to class, Michelle is immediately by my side.

“What did he want?” asks Michelle

“He wants to go to lunch,” I state the words not believing them to be true.