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If you are like me, you always planned on having kids. You were just waiting for the perfect moment, and if you were like me, you expected to have the PERFECT pregnancy! Well, I am here to say that it does not always work out and I am living proof.
My pregnancy was anything but normal. In fact, it was very unusual. So here is my list of advice for a Soon-to-be mom.
1) Set goals but don't stress if they aren't reached. Life sometimes hands you lemons when you expected lemonade. My goal was to go completely to term, have a natural child birth and be able to work out at the gym again 4-6 weeks later. What I got was completely unplanned.
At 35 weeks, life handed me high blood pressure which meant NST stress tests twice a week. If that wasn't enough, I began developing sciatic nerve pain. This pain became debilitating at 38 weeks. I couldn't even walk and the slightest weight put on my left leg would send excruciating pain shooting up it. I couldn't sleep. The pain hurt so bad it made me nauseas so I couldn't eat. Then on top of that no position I could get in could make the pain go away.
Sometimes relief comes in unexpected packages. The high blood pressure meant I was to be induced early. It was the most beautiful thing I could have ever heard! So instead of suffering through the pain another two more weeks, it was only REALLY bad for 80 hours. Kid you not worse than labor. SO my child birthing plans got shot right away.
2) Do what is best for the baby. I went into the hospital in a wheel chair (couldn't even walk on my left leg anymore) ready to be induced. I was never more happy to be in a hospital and was beyond excited as the nurse hooked up the baby heart monitor, the IV and anything else they wanted to attach to me. When the induction started was when things got kind of scary.
First, they stuck a broken pill up inside me to soften my cervix. Within a half an hour of doing so. The baby's heart rate dropped. The mere drop in the heart rate meant with in seconds, my room was filled with a dozen doctors and nurses ready to help. My own nurse began flipping me to one side then the other. Finally propping me up on all fours with my butt in the air and face down in a pillow. (All while still in pain from the Sciatic nerve and barely able to move BUT you really get moving when it comes to your baby) That was when the baby's heart rate went back to normal. Everything was fine.
Second, since my cervix was still not opening, they started a Pitocin drip on the lowest amount. Within minutes of starting the drip, my baby's heart rate deceled again. Once again the same flurry of people made their way into my room and the same series of acrobatic moves to reposition the baby in me begins. The only problem was this time it was not working.
That is when they covered me (my butt was up in the air with one of those lovely hospital gowns... get my drift) and rushed me to the prepped O.R. Nothing gets you even more worried than this trust me. While in there, they hook me back up to the monitor and to my relief, I hear her little heart beat. It was stable.
The doctor comes up to me with two choices that I had to make a decision on. I could go back to my room and continue to try and induce labor. Keep in mind that the heart rate is likely to drop again and I would end up right back here or he could take his time and perform a C-section. Well, after 80 hours of intense nerve pain and MOST of all the worry about my baby's well being. I decided on a C-section. (The C-section story can be for a later time if anyone is interested)
Within 20 minutes, I am hearing a little cry coming from my daughter and watching her as they hold her close to my face. She was perfectly healthy. They could only guess that the chord was being compressed as she pushed down but, she was safe and I made what I believe was the best decision for the baby even though it was not what I wanted.
3) LISTEN to your body post-baby! Everyone is different and starts off on different fitness levels before they get pregnant. I love to run! Like LOVE it, but I was sidelined from running around 33 weeks of pregnancy and unable to pick it up until my baby was 5 weeks old. Even then I could only run a mile because of the sciatic nerve damage (still have pain when I run at 10 weeks).
Your body will also tell you when it is ready to have sex again. SO listen to it. OH and FYI, it will probably hurt the first few times. I had a C-section and I still hurt! I think it is a mechanism our bodies use to protect us from anymore damage. So LISTEN to your body and use lots of lube.
4) Breastfeeding DOES NOT come naturally! Let me repeat that one more time: BREAST FEEDING DOES NOT COME NATURALLY. We aren't hard wired. There isn't some magical thing that occurs when you have a baby that allows you to know everything about a baby. It takes time and effort. Your baby doesn't quiet have it figured out and neither do you. It will take lots of working together to figure out what is right for you. FYI every nurse and lactation consultant will tell you something different. Listen and try to figure out what works best for you.
AND it gets better! You might find something that works and you are excited because the baby is latching on! Then 4 hours later the baby had a brain fart and forgets how to latch. It is frustrating and tough. Above all keep at it! I understand why so many women get fed up and bottle feed. Bottle feeding is ok but if you have your heart set on breastfeeding, then be prepared to work hard and know it will take time. Now I can pop out a boob and Noelle knows what to do right away. IT's awesome.
This leads me to my next thing:
5) Breast pads, Cold packs and hot showers! I was worried. It took 6 days for my milk to come in and I had no idea what to expect. I kept wondering and worrying that as only a little bit of white milk would come out if that was it. Was I milk deficient? Did having a C-section ruin my bodies natural cycle? NOPE!
Day 6 came and my boobs were huge and hard as rocks! And THEY HURT! Pressure builds up and can't be released which causes them to hurt. On top of that, your nipples are sensitive because they haven't toughened up for baby yet. (IT isn't all about "proper latching" there will be some pain and your boobs have to toughen up.)
So here is where everything comes into play. Wear breast pads because you don't know when milk will spontaneously decide to leak out. Put cold packs on them when they really hurt. I would put them on after breast feeding and take HOT showers to help relax your breast so you can expel milk and relieve some of the pressure.
Make sure you don't expel too much milk. Right now, your body is excited that it figured out what to do and is on hyper drive. It will settle down and begin working on a "supply and demand" system for baby. But until then: breast pads, cold packs, and hot showers!!!
6) YOU WILL NOT GET SLEEP! Breast feeding and my husbands schedule means that I get the grunt of waking up every two hours to feed the baby. It is tough but you will get through it. Trust me. I was so excited the first night little Noelle slept 5 hours in a row. EXCITED! It will happen. You will get there, but even then, YOU WILL GET LITTLE SLEEP!
7) Your baby is talented! It can poop and eat AT THE SAME TIME!!! When it first happened to me, I couldn't stop laughing. That mixed with the lack of sleep brought me to tears. I was mildly impressed but most of all shocked. Now I am aware. Oh, I am fully aware...
8) It will be rough, but one of the most enjoyable experiences of your life. I am tired almost all the time. I have been shedding the baby weight but, at 10 weeks post pregnancy, I still have 10 lbs to go. I eat when I can and shower when I can. My time is no longer my own. My needs come second to this little 12 lb baby who has made me her slave, but all I have to do is look at her. I look into her eyes, eyes which are almost identical to mine staring back at me, and my heart melts. I love her in ways that I never could have imagined. It is an undying, to the core, give my life and unfaltering to the end of time type of love.
Above all the crap that happens, even with my body being wrecked and all the unexpected things I just didn't understand until I lived through it, #8 is what makes it worth while. Number 8 is what makes me the most happiest and it is the most surprising thing of all because you honestly can not even begin to comprehend how much your view of love will change until you actually become a mom. It's shocking!
So enjoy being pregnant! Take in the moments and know that things will occur during pregnancy that no book, video, or doctor can prepare you for. Especially the love you will have for your baby.
Sincerely,
E.M. Lathrop
