Never Judge a Book by it's Cover

     Earlier this week, I went to the track to do my normal 2 mile run. As I push my 4 month old daughter along in the stroller, I notice two women with one stroller running. Both the women were not what I would think of when I think of "runners". They were a bit bigger and their legs weren't the finely toned ones I associate with that of an avid jogger, but they quickly surprised me with their speed.
   I should note that since the birth of my daughter, I have been attempting to get back in shape. This task has proven very challenging as the military schedule my husband has makes me feel like a single parent more days than not. However, I have been diligently going to the track, daughter in tote, and putting feet to pavement as I jog circles. (The track is ALOT smoother than pavement for the stroller. Take note other moms.)
     The day I am talking about was a day that me and these two women began our work out at relatively the same time. I stretched, locked the front wheel up on the stroller, set my IPhone to the Nike running app, and began. The women began a 100 meters in front of me. I thought I would catch up to them in NO TIME, but to my surprise, it was not until I was almost done the first mile that I passed them. Even when I got finished the second mile, I look back and to my surprise they were only 100 meters behind me.
   Then I got to thinking about how their outer appearance misled me to the conclusion that they would not keep up with me. Yes, I am a bit slower than I was pre-baby, but I do not classify myself as "slow" per say. To me, they looked like they would be slow, but I was dead wrong. This led me to a HUGE reminder NEVER to judge a book by it's cover with people AND with books.
    As a society, we make our first impression by how we look and act outwardly. While first impressions CAN be very much true and indicative of the human soul behind the face, it is not always the case. Yet, we judge them.
    It is the same with books. A lot of times in the publishing industry, a book cover can make or break you. As I lean more and more to the conclusion that I might have to become an indy author, I am faced with having to design my own cover. (Yes, I could pay someone, but I am going to be flat out honest and tell you I don't have the money. NOR do I think it is a good utilization of my resources at this point in time.)
    So I am left to my own whimsical and at times self judgmental perspective as to what I want the world to judge my book on... :( What do I want everyone's first impression to be? It is almost easier writing and intensely editing than to pick a cover because, like I realized the other day, I am just as much a slave to judging a book by it's cover as everyone else.
    Wish me luck. Maybe I will purchase an indy book this weekend who's cover I am not a fan of. It could surprise me just like these two awesome women did. (FYI ANYONE who works out and attempts to better themselves is awesome in my book! AND that book has no cover.)

Lots of love and wish me luck in Cover scheming for TOTEM!

E.M.Lathrop

Writing a Novel is like Training for a Marathon

    The other day, I was lacing up my shoes to go for a jog. As usual, my mind wonders to writing and that is when it hit me, writing a novel is a lot like training for a marathon.

    First, you get an idea in your head that just won't go away. It sparks a whole train of thoughts. You begin to think 'Yes I can write a Novel. My character's are awesome!' 'Yes I can run a marathon! Everyone should do it in their lifetime.'

     You research it. You look at the genre you want to write in. You look at the topics that your book will cover. You begin to look at different running shoes. You look at different training programs to prepare your for a marathon.

     You come up with a game plan. You sit down and outline your story. You find a running program. (I personally used Hal Higdon's and recommend it to any runner.)

     You begin. You sit down to your computer (or pin and paper) and begin writing. You lace up those new running shoes and set up your gps for a run.

    You realize your out of shape. Writing is tough. It takes jut as much practice and training as running. Speaking of which, your running is lacking.

     You push on. Stubbornness sometimes is a person's best friend. In my case, I am very stubborn so I write and I run through the pain.

     You get better. You go longer. You write more. Writing sessions begin to span over hours and not just minutes. You begin to get the equivalent of a "runner's high" but for writing as words spill out of your thoughts and onto paper as smoothly as if you said them out loud. Speaking of which, you are getting those for running! You are running longer and farther. You don't get out of breath as easily any more.

     You are at the end. You have one more chapter to write. You have spent hours equaling days and weeks pouring your thoughts onto paper creating a world and characters. Now you see the end. It's one week away from race day. You are skinnier than you have ever been because you have trained so much and put in those long distance runs on the weekend.

     Last, there comes the day you finish. You type the last paragraph in the book. You make one more exerted push of energy to that finish line in front of you. You're done! You finish. The race is over and you look back reflecting on the marathon. your book is done. You think about all the pages and pages you have written and you celebrate.

    Now here is the difference between the marathon and the novel. You can look for another race to run, but you are done this one. You can look back thinking about how you could have got a better time, but that is all. What has occurred is over and you put all your best into that one race.
      When you are finished your novel, you should absolutely take a break, but you are nowhere near done. You need to go back and edit. You need to read is again and again making it better. Then when you think you are done, you hand it to someone you trust. So they can read and edit for you. Then you take their edits and edit. Then give it to another friend. You continue until you think the story is the best it can be. Then you are done.
      Sure you can argue there are huge differences between the two, but I have done both. To me, the processes are very similar and it all sums up to one saying:

sweat + perseverance = success

You put in the time and energy. You continue to put in the time and energy until one day you succeed. It's as simple (and complicated) as that.

Lot of Love,
E.M.

Writing in the midst of chaos.

   

      It's a drastic title, but I find it to be slightly true. I could definitely use a good drink but ALAS I am a breastfeeding mom. FYI pump and dump isn't really a thing from my understanding. Your body naturally cycles the alcohol out of the breast milk, but I digress. Lately, I have been writing little by little every day, but my life is down right hectic. The baby needs attention. The two dogs need attention. My husband is gone doing military things. It is a busy, busy life right now. :)

 

   So with that said, here is my resolutions!

1) I resolve to blog at least once a week.

     I know that seems like FOREVER in the high paced world of the internet but it is doable and I can afford that time.

2) I will finish writing the second book before my trip back to where my heart lies. That said city is New Orleans.

What's the scuttle butt? Since my tiny absence from blogging my merely inconsequential life as I struggle to be a writer, this is what has happened:

1) Sent Queries to 2 agents about 2 weeks ago. Have I heard back from them yet? No. Do I fully intend to follow up with them? Yes. Do I expect them to be interested in signing me? All signs point to no. I expect this. I fully expect to have to tweak my Query and send it to another 30 agents and get rejected. That's ok. They get millions of queries a year. This leads to number 2.

2) I have been writing and I mean WRITING! I love Totem and all the characters in my lovely book. I love them so much that I have the 4 books in the series completely laid out with an added character Novella full of mini back stories about my lovely supporting characters. I just need to finish writing them. I believe in Totem. I believe in myself and my ability to tell a good story. At least that is what I keep telling myself when I look in the mirror. :)

3) I can run 2 miles again!!! My last blog was about pregnancy and what I experienced. Well, the sciatic nerve pain is nothing more than a dull tension in my left leg now. So I can run 2 miles. It isn't the 1/2 marathon I did 6 weeks pregnant, but it's a start!

4) Booked everything for New Orleans!! My beautiful friend is getting married and I am a bridesmaid! So fully be ready for some countdowns of New Orleans type things when I get back!

So what now?

You will have to see where I go. I might even drop a few chapters on my next blog. :) Who knows, maybe even the first chapter to TOTEM (will she dare? gasp!)

Either way, resolutions are in place and I am on it!


Lots of Love,
EM

Things that just didn't sink in or I didn't know until it happened to me during pregnancy.

 

      If you are like me, you always planned on having kids. You were just waiting for the perfect moment, and if you were like me, you expected to have the PERFECT pregnancy! Well, I am here to say that it does not always work out and I am living proof.

 

      My pregnancy was anything but normal. In fact, it was very unusual. So here is my list of advice for a Soon-to-be mom.

 

1) Set goals but don't stress if they aren't reached. Life sometimes hands you lemons when you expected lemonade. My goal was to go completely to term, have a natural child birth and be able to work out at the gym again 4-6 weeks later. What I got was completely unplanned.

      At 35 weeks, life handed me high blood pressure which meant NST stress tests twice a week. If that wasn't enough, I began developing sciatic nerve pain. This pain became debilitating at 38 weeks. I couldn't even walk and the slightest weight put on my left leg would send excruciating pain shooting up it. I couldn't sleep. The pain hurt so bad it made me nauseas so I couldn't eat. Then on top of that no position I could get in could make the pain go away.

    Sometimes relief comes in unexpected packages. The high blood pressure meant I was to be induced early. It was the most beautiful thing I could have ever heard! So instead of suffering through the pain another two more weeks, it was only REALLY bad for 80 hours. Kid you not worse than labor. SO my child birthing plans got shot right away.

 

2) Do what is best for the baby. I went into the hospital in a wheel chair (couldn't even walk on my left leg anymore) ready to be induced. I was never more happy to be in a hospital and was beyond excited as the nurse hooked up the baby heart monitor, the IV and anything else they wanted to attach to me. When the induction started was when things got kind of scary.

     First, they stuck a broken pill up inside me to soften my cervix. Within a half an hour of doing so. The baby's heart rate dropped. The mere drop in the heart rate meant with in seconds, my room was filled with a dozen doctors and nurses ready to help. My own nurse began flipping me to one side then the other. Finally propping me up on all fours with my butt in the air and face down in a pillow. (All while still in pain from the Sciatic nerve and barely able to move BUT you really get moving when it comes to your baby) That was when the baby's heart rate went back to normal. Everything was fine.

    Second, since my cervix was still not opening, they started a Pitocin drip on the lowest amount. Within minutes of starting the drip, my baby's heart rate deceled again. Once again the same flurry of people made their way into my room and the same series of acrobatic moves to reposition the baby in me begins. The only problem was this time it was not working.

     That is when they covered me (my butt was up in the air with one of those lovely hospital gowns... get my drift) and rushed me to the prepped O.R. Nothing gets you even more worried than this trust me. While in there, they hook me back up to the monitor and to my relief, I hear her little heart beat. It was stable.

    The doctor comes up to me with two choices that I had to make a decision on. I could go back to my room and continue to try and induce labor. Keep in mind that the heart rate is likely to drop again and I would end up right back here or he could take his time and perform a C-section. Well, after 80 hours of intense nerve pain and MOST of all the worry about my baby's well being. I decided on a C-section. (The C-section story can be for a later time if anyone is interested)

    Within 20 minutes, I am hearing a little cry coming from my daughter and watching her as they hold her close to my face. She was perfectly healthy. They could only guess that the chord was being compressed as she pushed down but, she was safe and I made what I believe was the best decision for the baby even though it was not what I wanted.

 

3) LISTEN to your body post-baby! Everyone is different and starts off on different fitness levels before they get pregnant. I love to run! Like LOVE it, but I was sidelined from running around 33 weeks of pregnancy and unable to pick it up until my baby was 5 weeks old. Even then I could only run a mile because of the sciatic nerve damage (still have pain when I run at 10 weeks).

     Your body will also tell you when it is ready to have sex again. SO listen to it. OH and FYI, it will probably hurt the first few times. I had a C-section and I still hurt! I think it is a mechanism our bodies use to protect us from anymore damage. So LISTEN to your body and use lots of lube.

 

4) Breastfeeding DOES NOT come naturally! Let me repeat that one more time: BREAST FEEDING DOES NOT COME NATURALLY. We aren't hard wired. There isn't some magical thing that occurs when you have a baby that allows you to know everything about a baby. It takes time and effort. Your baby doesn't quiet have it figured out and neither do you. It will take lots of working together to figure out what is right for you. FYI every nurse and lactation consultant will tell you something different. Listen and try to figure out what works best for you.

    AND it gets better! You might find something that works and you are excited because the baby is latching on! Then 4 hours later the baby had a brain fart and forgets how to latch. It is frustrating and tough. Above all keep at it! I understand why so many women get fed up and bottle feed. Bottle feeding is ok but if you have your heart set on breastfeeding, then be prepared to work hard and know it will take time. Now I can pop out a boob and Noelle knows what to do right away. IT's awesome.

    This leads me to my next thing:

 

5) Breast pads, Cold packs and hot showers! I was worried. It took 6 days for my milk to come in and I had no idea what to expect. I kept wondering and worrying that as only a little bit of white milk would come out if that was it. Was I milk deficient? Did having a C-section ruin my bodies natural cycle? NOPE!

    Day 6 came and my boobs were huge and hard as rocks! And THEY HURT! Pressure builds up and can't be released which causes them to hurt. On top of that, your nipples are sensitive because they haven't toughened up for baby yet. (IT isn't all about "proper latching" there will be some pain and your boobs have to toughen up.)

    So here is where everything comes into play. Wear breast pads because you don't know when milk will spontaneously decide to leak out. Put cold packs on them when they really hurt. I would put them on after breast feeding and take HOT showers to help relax your breast so you can expel milk and relieve some of the pressure.

    Make sure you don't expel too much milk. Right now, your body is excited that it figured out what to do and is on hyper drive. It will settle down and begin working on a "supply and demand" system for baby. But until then: breast pads, cold packs, and hot showers!!!

 

6) YOU WILL NOT GET SLEEP! Breast feeding and my husbands schedule means that I get the grunt of waking up every two hours to feed the baby. It is tough but you will get through it. Trust me. I was so excited the first night little Noelle slept 5 hours in a row. EXCITED! It will happen. You will get there, but even then, YOU WILL GET LITTLE SLEEP!

 

7) Your baby is talented! It can poop and eat AT THE SAME TIME!!! When it first happened to me, I couldn't stop laughing. That mixed with the lack of sleep brought me to tears. I was mildly impressed but most of all shocked. Now I am aware. Oh, I am fully aware...

 

8) It will be rough, but one of the most enjoyable experiences of your life. I am tired almost all the time. I have been shedding the baby weight but, at 10 weeks post pregnancy, I still have 10 lbs to go. I eat when I can and shower when I can. My time is no longer my own. My needs come second to this little 12 lb baby who has made me her slave, but all I have to do is look at her. I look into her eyes, eyes which are almost identical to mine staring back at me, and my heart melts. I love her in ways that I never could have imagined. It is an undying, to the core, give my life and unfaltering to the end of time type of love.

 

    Above all the crap that happens, even with my body being wrecked and all the unexpected things I just didn't understand until I lived through it, #8 is what makes it worth while. Number 8 is what makes me the most happiest and it is the most surprising thing of all because you honestly can not even begin to comprehend how much your view of love will change until you actually become a mom. It's shocking!

 

    So enjoy being pregnant! Take in the moments and know that things will occur during pregnancy that no book, video, or doctor can prepare you for. Especially the love you will have for your baby.

 

 

Sincerely,

E.M. Lathrop

The New Little "Writer's Block"

   

(the new little "writer's block")

        Life and "dream career" sometimes collide and you are left having to pick which is more important at this very moment in time. This is where I ended up four weeks ago. With the last weeks of pregnancy wreaking havoc on my body and early induction turned emergency C-section, I would like to introduce my new little "Writer's block".

    Writing itself is sometimes cumbersome and you are left forcing to continue to write when you feel like doing something else (like all careers at times.) However, the new addition to my family has left me lacking even more than usual. I am not at all upset about it. I love the cute little bundle. She makes my heart melt with her facial expressions. I find myself falling more in love with her every day not understanding how my already filled heart could provide any more room. It does and I continue to find more room. I love her so much.

   Anyway, back to the purpose of this blog. Taking care of a newborn is tough work! Juggling a keyboard and a baby at the same time is almost impossible. So please bare with me as I work through feeding and sleeping schedules while still working on Ty and Kimber finding romance. It is sometimes a leap for me to make into romance when I am up to elbows in poopie diapers and spit up covered onesies but I am finding my path once more.

   I have put a slight pause on working on the second book, Fleur de Lis, to re-edit my first book. One of my lovely secret readers has finished my book with a lot of feedback and corrections! Yay! No, for real, I mean YAY! Having her edit and ask questions gives me another set of eyes. This allows me to correct things I may have over looked. Kimber's world lives within me. I know her life as much as I know my own. As such, I may overlook things that need to be answered. So having my wonderful friends read over it helps make my book better!

  So thank you to my secret readers! One day I hope to pay you back!

   So where I stand right now:
- Re-editing Totem
- Slowly working on "Fleur de Lis"
- Quickly learning the in's and out's of Motherhood

Until next time Blog world! (which will be sooner rather than later!)

-EML

Skinny Soy Vanilla Latte

     I would like to commend everyone out there who live their lives working full time jobs while doing extra things with out the need for caffeine. I am 8 mos pregnant and have been trying my hardest to not drink any caffeine at all. But like any good coffee junky, I cheat. I will go for days with out any and, then in a moment of tired despair, I take in my daily allotted amount that I can as instructed by my doctor. It is an addiction that I do not wish to kick and I will happily go back to when I can. The funny part is I thought my passion for wine would be the hardest thing to go with out, but alcohol has become completely unappealing to me when I got pregnant.

      For right now, I am a writer with out her caffeine whose belly is the size of a blown up beach ball. You all have been warned.

    A side note, I am sure people will go back and read these posts wondering why I started the blog so early if I don't intend to publish my book right away. Well, to answer that question, I am working hard to make sure I am putting out the best work I can. Right now, I have some lovely friends who are my acting beta readers/editors. They are reading TOTEM while I work on the second book in the series Fleur-de-Lis. I love writing and do it passionately almost every day. I would rather sit on releasing my book knowing I am going to have a better product when I do than release something people would not enjoy.

     Secondly, I am hoping people will stumble upon my blog/twitter/facebook/whatever and be interested in what I have to say wondering if I could in fact write a book they would enjoy. If I could interest even one person by all my mindless writing in between writing, then I would have done my job.

   Also, I keep going back and forth between self publish or traditional publishing. From what I have been reading, both have their perks. There is neither a correct way or a wrong way now a days. Now it is mostly personal choice or serendipitous chance that causes people to arrive at one or the other. So please be patient while I continue my internal battle with how to release my books. Book I hope my readers will enjoy.

  Until then, I will be dreaming about a Starbuck's Skinny Vanilla Latte in a Venti cup.


Sincerely,

EM

The Art of Sex and Writing

     As I am going about my writing journey working on my second book in the TOTEM series, I am haunted by one question: How much sex is too much... when it comes to writing?

   I will admit, like most women my age, that I have read 50 Shades of Grey. It's a book that seems entirely dedicated to sex. Which is probably how I am 8 mos pregnant now. (Not really. My little girl was very much planned by two loving parents) But in no way, shape or form do I think it is appropriate for my target audience (YA to NA, paranormalish) to write out pornographic scenes. Nor do I think it is age appropriate for them to "just hold hands". It is impractical to think that my character, a young woman in college, would not have sex.

    In my personal experience and opinion, I do not think young women should engage in sex until they are both physically, mentally and emotionally mature enough to deal with the consequences of entering into a sexual relationship with another human being. Sex is tricky. A lot of times the two individuals are not on the same page. It takes maturity to discuss what each other needs or wants. It also takes maturity and self worth for women and men to stand firm in their belief to use protection (something EVERY COUPLE should discuss before sex). So how do you express these ideals in a book?

    I could skirt the issue completely and wait until marriage like Stephanie Meyers. But waiting until marriage is no longer the norm nor is it appropriate for my characters. Not only that, but New Orleans culture is all about the good times. It is a city filled with parties, bars and more parties. It is just part of the culture. In fact sex is part of college life. But how do I express that in a way that isn't too graphic?

   Usually, I am sure agents and editors would step in and dictate my writing (which I would be perfectly fine with) if I thought it was a route I am going. (I would love to have an agent who lets me write then tells me how high to jump but the literary world is a cruel world my friends where few make it to the top of the hill leaving others piled below). That's why I chose to write for the love of writing where the only people I have to impress right now is myself and my lovely readers!

    So here I am trying to figure out the art of writing sex. Too much pushes the boundary yet too little makes the character unbelievable. What is an author to do?

 Until next time,
EM