The Art of Sex and Writing

     As I am going about my writing journey working on my second book in the TOTEM series, I am haunted by one question: How much sex is too much... when it comes to writing?

   I will admit, like most women my age, that I have read 50 Shades of Grey. It's a book that seems entirely dedicated to sex. Which is probably how I am 8 mos pregnant now. (Not really. My little girl was very much planned by two loving parents) But in no way, shape or form do I think it is appropriate for my target audience (YA to NA, paranormalish) to write out pornographic scenes. Nor do I think it is age appropriate for them to "just hold hands". It is impractical to think that my character, a young woman in college, would not have sex.

    In my personal experience and opinion, I do not think young women should engage in sex until they are both physically, mentally and emotionally mature enough to deal with the consequences of entering into a sexual relationship with another human being. Sex is tricky. A lot of times the two individuals are not on the same page. It takes maturity to discuss what each other needs or wants. It also takes maturity and self worth for women and men to stand firm in their belief to use protection (something EVERY COUPLE should discuss before sex). So how do you express these ideals in a book?

    I could skirt the issue completely and wait until marriage like Stephanie Meyers. But waiting until marriage is no longer the norm nor is it appropriate for my characters. Not only that, but New Orleans culture is all about the good times. It is a city filled with parties, bars and more parties. It is just part of the culture. In fact sex is part of college life. But how do I express that in a way that isn't too graphic?

   Usually, I am sure agents and editors would step in and dictate my writing (which I would be perfectly fine with) if I thought it was a route I am going. (I would love to have an agent who lets me write then tells me how high to jump but the literary world is a cruel world my friends where few make it to the top of the hill leaving others piled below). That's why I chose to write for the love of writing where the only people I have to impress right now is myself and my lovely readers!

    So here I am trying to figure out the art of writing sex. Too much pushes the boundary yet too little makes the character unbelievable. What is an author to do?

 Until next time,
EM